


Ticket Please

by morrezela



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:39:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared likes the police officer that gives him parking tickets, so he keeps violating the law to see her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ticket Please

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for spn_rpf_het’s first comment meme. I had better things to be doing, but had hit a creative dead zone. Apparently this meant I should write AU romance where Jensen and Danneel snark like the old married couple they are, and Jared is a clueless dork.
> 
> All mistakes you find are my own.

Jared is not exactly intimidated by Officer Cortese. She’s five foot nothing and tiny and cute and perfect and adorable. His best friend, Jensen, tells him that he gets cartoon hearts in his eyes when he talks about her. Of course, Jensen is a grade A bastard who dates a girl so hot that other men have wept in envy. Jensen doesn’t know squat about Jared’s predicament of loneliness.

Jensen is old, and entrenched in his taken ways. He’s all domesticated, practically married. Jared bets that if he went digging for old photos, Jensen would be making sappy heart eyes over Danneel too. Or, you know, doing that pleased, shy, blush-y thing that Jensen does to hide the fact that he’s really a sarcastic jerk on the inside.

But the point is that the best advice Jensen has been able to give Jared is to, “Just ask her out already, you enormous doof.” Danneel at least tried to be helpful. She told him that he needed to not wear plaid, then proceeded to raid Jensen’s closet for something suitable.

Which, yeah, Jared maybe might at some point want to think about the fact that he routinely shares clothes with his best friend. That might not be normal enough for Officer Cortese. She might not enjoy the fact that his best friend’s hot ass girlfriend knows his sizing so well. There could be… complications.

And anyway, despite the nice duds that Danneel had dressed him in, Jared still hasn’t the foggiest clue what to say when Office Cortese pulls up in her adorable little ticket mobile and climbs out to write Jared a not so adorable ticket.

“Hi,” is not the best start to a conversation, but at least it is better than straight up gawking.

Her perfect, cute mouth twitches a little, but it goes downwards instead of up despite Jared putting on his most winning smile.

“Mr. Padalecki,” she greets as her pen scratches across the pad she is holding, “You do realize that chronic parking violations can lead to stiffer penalties. I’m certain we had this conversation already.”

“Yeah, well I… didn’t have your number?” Jared lamely chooses to say.

“My badge number is on each and every ticket that I’ve given you in the past…”

“I mean your number,” Jared interrupts before his brain can inform him that talking back to an officer of the law is a bad idea.

Officer Cortese pulls her shades off her face to look at him with those big, brown eyes of hers. “Excuse me?”

“Umm?” Jared offers, his brain and extensive vocabulary deserting him.

“You’re not serious,” she states.

“Kinda am?” Jared says, hating that everything is coming out like a question.

“Is this some sort of cop fetish thing?” she asks skeptically.

“No, no it’s more of a… You’re cute, you know?”

“You thought I was cute, so you started breaking the law to attract my attention?”

“Well, I mean, when you put it that way…”

“And then, because you couldn’t find the words to say anything, you kept violating these laws to keep meeting with me?”

Jared shrugs.

Officer Cortese arches a perfect, adorable eyebrow at him. “You do know that I passed all of the physical requirements for this job, don’t you? I’m out here because I’m qualified. Just because I’m on meter maid duty, that doesn’t mean that I’m not going somewhere with my career. I’m an officer of the law.”

“Yeah, but… you’re also cute,” Jared states again.

“All those parking tickets and this is the best you came up with?” she asks.

“You’re also very, umm, your penmanship is nice?” Jared offers.

Officer Cortese flips her ticket pad shut. “Mr. Padalecki, you need to quit violating the law. Cute girls are not a reason to perform illegal acts,” she pauses and sighs in disgust, “I should fine you just for making me sound like my mother.”

“I can make it up to you,” Jared hastens to say.

Officer Cortese’s mouth quirks just a little. “Are you trying to bribe me?”

“No! Absolutely not! I just, I wanted, I thought that maybe we could have dinner, lunch – luncheon! Umm, a bagel and a low fat soy latte,” Jared haltingly offers.

“Not donuts?”

“It is bad manners to offer a girl fattening foods until you’ve dated at least a month,” Jared quotes his mother. Quoting Momma to another woman has never lead him astray except for that one time that he told Missy Blareheart that she was a hussy.

“Well, I want donuts,” Officer Cortese tells him.

Jared’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “Really?”

“And a promise that you won’t continue breaking the law in order to get strange women’s attention,” she continues.

“You’re not strange,” Jared instantly defends her… to herself.

Officer Cortese smirks at him. “That’s what you think.”


End file.
